A year ago today, I made my first ever REAL New Year’s Resolution. (Meaning, I didn’t just say “I’m going to eat less junk food!” knowing full well that I will be buying that family size bag of Doritos the next time I’m at the store.)
I even put it in writing (just on facebook, but still…I felt like it would hold me accountable).
I said I was going to start a blog.
I had no idea what I was doing. The only things I was sure about: 1) I love to write and 2) I had a lot to say. On March 3rd, I wrote my first blog post.
I realized I had to figure out what my goals were for my blog. I decided it was simply this:
- Get some things off my chest that I had been wanting to say.
- Make at least ONE person, whether that be an autism parent, a mom of boys, or even just a mom who feels like she’s going insane every once in a while, feel not so damn ALONE.
- Make people laugh. At least a little.
This morning, I looked at the summary of my blog stats for the entire year. My favorite thing to do when looking at stats is to see what search terms people used that made them somehow land at my tiny little rookie blog. Some of them make me smile (autism smile, brothers hug, flapping of hands autism). Some of them make me sad (autistic and feeling hopeless). Some of them make me think I have made someone out there laugh, which is almost always a goal of mine (shit Keegan says, the pooping diaries). There’s also the category of search terms that I would entitle “Ummmm….what?” (poop on a q-tip, shit in a package, ass bathroom mom, husband won’t buy me alcohol, all my brushes smell like feet, why do people strip naked to poop?)
And then there were these: doesn’t look autistic?, my son doesn’t look like he’s autistic, my child is autistic but doesn’t look like it, are autistics normal looking?, but he doesn’t look autistic. Someone, somewhere, typed in these searches, perhaps looking for an answer as to why their child doesn’t “look” autistic. Each of them were led to this blog post, which happens to be the one that has been read and shared more than any others.
And this is why I’m going to keep blogging. I love writing, but blogging is not easy. I always have potential blog posts swirling around in my brain, but sometimes they just don’t come out right when I start typing, so I give up. But now that I look at my most-read posts of my first year, I realize I’m writing something that is so important. Someone seems to be relating to my posts, sharing them, learning something, and hopefully feeling less alone in the world of raising a child with autism. Someone searched when everything is sad just keep swimming, and found this. There were searches for hope I don’t have aspergers and aspergers hopeless. I hope they took the time to read this.
I hope I have made people think. I hope I have made them more aware. I hope I have made them laugh. (And I don’t necessarily hope I have made them cry, but I do have people tell me that. I hope it’s a “good” cry.)
I know my writing is mediocre at best. But there is one particular post that I love. It didn’t have the highest traffic of the year. Not even Top 5. But it is my favorite: My Dear, Sweet Easton.
Thank you to my loyal readers, my new readers, and anyone who happens to stumble into my world, even if it’s by accident.
My New Year’s Resolution for 2013: Keep writing.