It’s a common phrase.
“If I had a nickel for every time Keegan started a sentence with “Mom-can-I”…I would be one rich lady!”
“If I had a nickel for every time Easton screams and I can’t figure out why…boy, I would be rich!”
A couple days ago, Keegan came out of the bathroom and I asked the question that might as well be programmed on a continuous loop to play automatically every few hours at our house: “Did you flush OR wash your hands?”
“Go do it.”
I thought to myself, “Man, if I had a nickel for every time I had to ask him that…”
Wait a minute.
I then told Keegan he had to give me a nickel out of his money jar every time I have to ask him if he flushed or washed his hands. You guys, I am BRILLIANT! He won’t want to give up his money that he’s saving to buy us a new couch (Yep. It’s true), so it will FINALLY get through to him to perform the simple tasks that have been expected of him since he was potty trained. I mean, this is IT! It might go against every parenting manual out there, but who the hell cares? Damn, I’m good!
I found this on the table yesterday:
“Keegan, why is there a pile of nickels on the table?”
“Remember, Mom? You said I have to give you a nickel every time I don’t flush or wash my hands. I’m getting them ready.”
I stared at him.
“Yes. I DO remember that. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just FLUSH AND WASH YOUR HANDS?”
“I’d rather just give you the nickels.”
And that’s what I would call an Epic Parenting Backfire.
On the bright side, I should have enough money by the end of the year in what I’m now calling the “My Son is Gross Fund” to take my hubby out for a nice meal. Glass half full, people.