If I had a nickel…

It’s a common phrase.

“If I had a nickel for every time Keegan started a sentence with “Mom-can-I”…I would be one rich lady!”

“If I had a nickel for every time Easton screams and I can’t figure out why…boy, I would be rich!”

A couple days ago, Keegan came out of the bathroom and I asked the question that might as well be programmed on a continuous loop to play automatically every few hours at our house: “Did you flush OR wash your hands?”

“No.”

“Go do it.”

I thought to myself, “Man, if I had a nickel for every time I had to ask him that…”

Wait a minute.

I then told Keegan he had to give me a nickel out of his money jar every time I have to ask him if he flushed or washed his hands.  You guys, I am BRILLIANT!  He won’t want to give up his money that he’s saving to buy us a new couch (Yep.  It’s true), so it will FINALLY get through to him to perform the simple tasks that have been expected of him since he was potty trained.  I mean, this is IT!  It might go against every parenting manual out there, but who the hell cares?  Damn, I’m good!

I found this on the table yesterday:

“Keegan, why is there a pile of nickels on the table?”

“Remember, Mom? You said I have to give you a nickel every time I don’t flush or wash my hands.  I’m getting them ready.”

I stared at him.

“Yes.  I DO remember that.  Wouldn’t it make more sense to just FLUSH AND WASH YOUR HANDS?”

Long pause.

“I’d rather just give you the nickels.”

And that’s what I would call an Epic Parenting Backfire.

On the bright side, I should have enough money by the end of the year in what I’m now calling the “My Son is Gross Fund” to take my hubby out for a nice meal.   Glass half full, people.

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