We are THOSE neighbors

Sometimes I wonder what our neighbors think of us.

Like when my boys are out in the back yard playing and every time Keegan gets in Easton’s personal space or touches him, Easton yells like this: “WWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”  And then I say this: “Keegan!  Leave your brother alone!”  And then Keegan says this: “But I didn’t DO anything!”  And then that whole thing repeats.  187 times.

Or when we are all sitting out on our front stoop.  My husband and Keegan are eating sunflower seeds and spitting out shells.  (Actually, correction on that: My husband is spitting out shells.  Keegan is chewing up the whole damn thing and spitting out the whole damn thing.  But, oh well.  It’s this father-son bond they have.)  I’m either a) drinking a beer or b) drinking a frozen “the alcohol is IN it!” beverage, and Easton is in only a diaper.  Our house is frickin HOT, people.  Clothing is optional.  (For our 3 year-old only.  We might be THOSE people, but we’re not THOOOOOSE PEOPLE.)  The other night, this exact scenario was happening, and Easton decided to join his brother in the “spitting” portion of the evening.  They stood side by side, as cars drove by, spitting into the grass.  It was magnificent.

Or, when Easton goes out front BY HIMSELF without me realizing it.  Not one of my finer moments.  I thought he was pounding on the door from the INSIDE.  Turns out it was from the OUTSIDE.  What my neighbor who knocked on the door to tell me my son was knocking on the door didn’t realize was, Easton simply loves to pound on any surface that will make a noise.  It wasn’t a “LET ME IN!” type of knock.  It was just Easton’s “I’m standing here pounding this door over and over and over because I love the repetitive sound” type of knock.  I’m fairly certain that neighbor thinks I’m the worst mom in the world.

Which brings me to the fiasco in front of our house last night.

Easton and I were sitting on the front steps.  Keegan was on the sidewalk in front of our house, running back and forth and asking me to time him.  I was doing the classic “Oh, um…9 seconds!” thing that I hope other parents do. (If you ACTUALLY time your child…well…I suck.)  He was running his little heart out, and then…he went DOWN.  Our sidewalk is very uneven at one particular spot, and he tripped.  Since the sidewalk is slightly downhill and partially blocked from where I was sitting, I didn’t see how bad it was until he stood up.  Yeah.  He pretty much fell flat on his face.  Bloody knees, bloody forehead…the works.

For those who don’t know Keegan…well, he’s a bit of a drama queen.  And this was no exception.  He was crying, “MY HEAD HURTS!  MY KNEES HURT!  I’M BLEEDING!”  I walked him inside to rinse off his wounds and go back outside.

The boys and I were sitting on the front step.  Keegan was being overly dramatic and still crying about how bad his head and knees hurt.  Then…Easton started imitating the exact sounds Keegan was making.  The dramatic crying.  The coughing because he was crying so hard.  I started laughing because…well…it was FUNNY.  Then, Keegan started yelling, “Mom!  It’s not funny!”  I assured him I was not laughing at him, but at his brother imitating him.  Then, Easton started imitating me laughing.  Then, Keegan yelled, “Easton!  Stop laughing at me!”  Then, I laughed harder.  Then, Keegan yelled louder.  Then, Easton imitated Keegan yelling.  Then, I laughed at Easton…..you get the point.

It was so ridiculously comical.

We went inside because 1) it was time to get the boys cleaned up and ready for bed, and 2) if ANY neighbors were watching this scene (I know our next door neighbor witnessed most of it since she was doing yard work), they HAD to be wondering what was going on, why my 7 year-old was crying, his brother was crying just like him, and their mom was LAUGHING.  At one point, I found myself looking at everyone’s window blinds to see if I saw any two slats separated, doing that ever-so-subtle “I’m going to look at my neighbor through my blinds without them knowing” move.

So yes…I wonder what our neighbors think of us sometimes.

And then I realized: who CARES what they think of us?  I’m perfectly okay with being THOSE neighbors.

Now…anyone want to come over?


2 thoughts on “We are THOSE neighbors

  1. Just getting all caught up reading your blogs…seriously laughing w tears in my eyes! You can’t make this stuff up….its just real life…that is frickin hilarious!

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